The Art of Barging: How to Sneak into Music Festivals This Summer

Festival tickets are SO expensive!  In the San Francisco Bay Area, only tech billionaires are actually paying for tickets to these things.  Outside Lands, in Golden Gate Park, will likely end up costing more than $400 to attend the entire three-day festival this year.  Bottle Rock, in Napa Valley, will break the bank at $140 per day!  But don’t list a vital organ on eBay just yet.  Here are a few field-tested ways save your cash and get in for free.  Whether you’re set on Bonnaroo, Coachella, ACL, Sasquatch, or just your county’s annual gathering of gypsies, this is your guide to barging like a boss.

The Fake Pass

This technique CAN be very easy, depending on the event and stringency of staff and security.  It worked for me and 4 other people at the San Francisco Oyster Festival about 8 years ago.  A friend instructed me to go to a certain point on the outside of the fence perimeter where he threw over a homemade VIP pass.  It was literally a computer print-out of a flyer from the event’s official website, folded up and stuck into a plastic sleeve the size of a CD case.  On the front of the plastic, my friend had written in Sharpie, “VIP.” It sounds ridiculous, and it was, but it was attached to a lanyard and that made it look just BARELY legit. 

I hung it from my neck and smiled with a quick nod at the ticket checker as I trotted in, acting like I had something important to do inside the festival.  And it turned out I did.  I needed to pour free beer down my throat.  Not only did the laughably simple VIP pass get us in, my friends had been using it at one of the beer tents to drink for free.  All day.  Sometimes a successful sneak-in will snag you unexpected benefits.

*Step 1

Visit the official website for the event or show.  Find a printable flyer or a logo or design that, at a glance, is clearly related to the event.  Print it.

example:

*Step 2 

Find a soft plastic sleeve, something like a CD jacket.  Fold up your fake pass so it will neatly fit into your sleeve.  Write VIP very carefully across the front.  I think smack dab, middle center is usually best, but take cautious liberties to make it look as official as possible.  Consider using a stencil with black marker, but if you have a surgeon’s steady hand (and not a doctor’s handwriting), do it free form.  If you make a mistake, just print off another and try again!  Once you nail it, slip it into the plastic sleeve so it fits like a glove. 

*Step 3

Go to any sporting goods or department store and spend a couple bucks on a lanyard (the thing that will go around your neck).  Use a hole punch to make a hole through the top of your plastic sleeve (don’t worry if the hole goes through the paper too).  Finally, attach your homemade pass to the lanyard. 

Now put your game face on.  This is one technique that requires lots of confidence, so be ready to flash your fake pass and keep moving.  If someone stops you to inspect it and asks questions, have a story prepared that will allow you a quick exit.  Say there’s no problem and you’ll just need make a phone call.  Then powerwalk somewhere else. 

The Brute Force

The oldest way in the book.  Everyone knows what it means to hop a fence, duck under yellow caution tape, wade through murky water, or gingerly step over sharp blackberry bushes to get into the show.  But by employing a few tried-and-true, vigilante-style methods, you can make the infiltration a little easier.

Reconnaissance is crucial.

Be diligent.  Case as much of the event perimeter as you can.  If you see a perfect opportunity to climb a tree and drop in behind the porta potties, barge it!  Follow your instincts and don’t be too hasty.  Make sure you’ve thoroughly investigated the alternatives before you tight-rope the barbwire across the open sewage drain. 

Look for openings in and under fences and gaps in security staff.  Oftentimes even when you get nabbed trying to slide your body between chain-link fences, the underpaid event security employee won’t have the time or motivation to call a good bluff.  Be prepared to tell some lies.  A great direction is toward volunteering.  There are usually way too many “volunteers” at festivals for security to even bother keeping track, and if you act like you know where you’re going, they probably won’t ask many questions.  In fact, this excuse can work so well, it might be all you need…

The Volunteer/Staff Entrance

At Napa Valley’s Bottlerock a few years ago, security was tight.  So after watching a few volunteers walk in, a buddy and I followed suit.  No questions, no passes required, just a smile as a staff member moved aside a barricade so we could walk straight into the festival. 

In some cases, you might lack the official volunteer vest or badge or something, but if you act stressed and pretend to be in a big hurry, you’ll probably slide.  You might consider approaching while in the middle of a very important fake phone call.  When you get to the entrance, mouth to the gatekeeper “VOLUNTEER.” They won’t bother you to hang up and explain.

If you’re planning this one, it won’t hurt to make a stop at your local thrift store.  Yellow windbreakers, bright vests, security uniforms, and even construction helmets (if it works with the rest of your ensemble) are all things that could make the operation a breeze.  Get creative.  Use a stencil to write “SECURITY” or “STAFF” or “VOLUNTEER” on something to make it even more believable. 

The Ticket Trouble (a.k.a. The Trooper)

 I actually just pulled this one off at Iron Maiden in Vegas.  It’s a pretty good trick but will work best when ticket checkers are being stampeded by eager concert fans, and it’s only designed to get an EXTRA person, without a ticket, in the door with a friend who does have a legitimate ticket. 

Be ready to act frustrated and confused.  Have two instances of the legit ticket open on your phone, for example: two screenshots of the same barcode, or two different emails messages with the same ticket attached to each.  When it’s time to show you and your buddy’s ticket, the scanner will show that the second one has already been scanned.  The person doing the scanning will tell you this, at which point you and your pal will become visibly angry over the major foul up that appears to have happened.  Tell the likely very preoccupied ticket checker that the two of you will stand off to the side and call the venue or StubHub or Ticketmaster or whoever is responsible for the egregious mistake, in order to straighten it out.

The poor, overwhelmed individual probably won’t think twice before saying, “Ok” and returning to the mouth of the horde.  When he or she forgets about you, probably 10 seconds later, both of you slowly saunter into the end zone, each immersed in activity on your phone screens, ideally camouflaged by a wild pack of drunk frat bros in sleeveless Red Hot Chili Peppers shirts. 

Confidence is key

You won’t get arrested, no one will punch you, and you won’t be fined if any of these don’t work out (unless you’re too drunk.  While a certain level of intoxication may help some execute these techniques, if you’re really wasted you could screw yourself.).  Don’t be afraid to go full-steam and dog paddle through a river to finally see all 14 of your favorite Marley brothers.  Fear not when a large, bearded Hell’s Angel in black sunglasses asks to see your VIP pass.  Remember you can deploy your safety chute at any time.  You can always simply say, “Okay, thanks” and be on your way…to try again on the other side of the festival.